Eulogy for Dad March 7, 2024/28 Adar I 5784
On behalf of my family, I want to begin by thanking the compassionate clergy team, committed staff and loving members of this Temple Emanu-El community—thank you for supporting us, near and far. You have carried my family through a most challenging year and now continue to guide us and feed us and pray with us amidst our shattered hearts.
My dad went in for a routine surgical procedure on Monday February 26th and experienced rare complications from which he never recovered. The tragedy surrounding my father’s death evokes for me other moments in his life when he bore great heartbreak: Dad had a challenging upbringing and lost his siblings over the subsequent years. Through it all, my father found ways to not only feel and endure the pain, but to grow and build and gather and guide, all emerging from his truth that life is precious and fleeting. My dad had any number of reasons to be embittered, and yet he very purposefully chose to cultivate a steady, strong, gracious, wisdom that flourished within him and with everyone who sought his counsel.
My dad was this way innately, but there is no question that finding the love of his life at fifteen years old, and the embrace of her family, helped lay an essential foundation. Mom, what a beautiful love story you wrote together, beginning as teenagers in White Plains, NY, as college students commuting to see each other between Pittsburgh and Baltimore, as newlyweds and graduate students in Boston, as new parents in Los Angeles, as nature lovers in Port Ludlow. You had your fair share of adventures, passion, bickering (the loving kind of course) and laughter. I love how dad would think of something funny and crack himself up before getting the words out and you would just delight in seeing him giggle so much that tears would gather in the corner of his eyes. Together, you were Janeric—J.A.N.E.R.I.C, as your license plate read all of those years, but you were hardly generic—you were two strong personalities, different from each other, and yet just the right blend of seriousness and fun, exact and spontaneous, intense and meditative. We, your family, your friends, your entire community, will be here for you, mom, as we make our way forward.
With the good fortune of our maternal grandparents within a few hours drive, Andrew and I grew up in a home built by the steady JANERIC team. Except for a few years, my dad worked out of our home office, oftentimes taking morning calls in his bathrobe before video calls or working virtually was common practice. Andrew and I were so fortunate to have regular family dinners with parents who inspired us to be our authentic selves. Around that dinner table we talked about everything—from playground friendship triangles to issues of social concern, to case studies of complex organizational challenges for us to untangle. Dad would cheer the loudest at Andrew’s football games and delighted in every new Jewish melody I would introduce, always singing off key. Despite his musical limitations, Dad had the perfect pitch of quiet strength and encouragement, prioritizing family time for his children and his grandchildren. Over the years, it was a joy to see dad embrace being Grandaddy. He adored everything about you dear ones—Ellie, Jojo, Ava and Jacob. Planting lavender in the Port Ludlow wedding garden, pushing you on the swing at the playground, reading to you at bedtime, feeling your sweet hugs and even the moments when you were a bit sassy and challenging, yes—Grandaddy loved you immensely and we will carry his love with us each day.
My dad was one of the hardest working people I know, growing Quest Consulting and Training into a successful enterprise with a wonderful team of colleagues. We experienced him as the ultimate organizer, taking his methodical time to bring a greater sense of order. He would take these skills everywhere, even trying to organize the flow of traffic through an LAX parking garage. He was a strategic thinker and great listener, who helped us plan every journey through our personal and professional lives. He did this for all of us—his immediate family, my cousins, dear friends, and every committee, and initiative in which he participated.
In particular, Dad devoted himself to serving the Leo Baeck Temple community. I want to offer my deepest thanks from the family to Leo Baeck for the loving care through times of tragedy and celebration, and for the honor dedicated to my dad in his lifetime. Rabbi Ken Chasen, you created the most sacred moment of spirit and love as we faced the immediate shock and devastation of our loss. As you trusted in each other, dad was so enriched by your friendship and soulful connection.
I am holding in my mind’s eye one of my favorite pictures of me and dad. I was about two at the time and we were walking along Kellog Beach in La Jolla, California. My little hand is in his as his feet sink into the wet sand with ease, our backs turned to the camera. His hair is dark and full, mine a shocking towhead blond, and no doubt my little legs were working overtime to keep up. I am sure I felt then, just as I do now, the warmth of my dad’s heart, his sturdy gait, and the calm he felt surrounded by nature. We will walk the path of your legacy, dad, with endless love, counting each day shared with you among the greatest blessings of our lifetime.
Reflections by Rabbi Kim 